A Gentle & Quiet Spirit

Discover the Truth About These Misunderstood Qualities

A Gentle & Quiet Spirit
- Third Edition -

In this latest edition, Virginia has included more of her discoveries in her on-going study of a gentle and quiet spirit. She has also included Bible meditations on spiritual beauty, peace, and strength to help her readers connect more deeply with the teaching about a gentle and quiet spirit.

Many Christian women face a dilemma in embracing the biblical teaching in 1 Peter 3:4 about a gentle and quiet spirit being of great worth to God. They want to please God, but they perceive “gentle” and “quiet” as weak or passive qualities. The truth is that the original text describes a strong and peaceful woman, and the word translated “great worth” means the very end or limit with reference to value. Discover the truth about these misunderstood qualities.

This book will give you a new perspective and some valuable lessons in how to become this strong woman with inner peace. Twenty-five worksheets throughout the book make it especially useful as a personal or group study guide.

Available in paperback and Kindle.

Table of Contents

Romeo and Juliet – Without the Poison
Chapter 1 – A New Perspective
Chapter 2 – A New Heart
Chapter 3 – Fear of Submission
Chapter 4 – Sarah’s Daughters
Chapter 5 – Why Me?
Chapter 6 – Self-Evaluation
Chapter 7 – When it Hurts
Chapter 8 – Happily Ever After

Free Resources

Author: Virginia Lefler

Romeo and Juliet - Without the Poison

I must say that my marriage has been an adventure. There has been a driving force in me to find marital bliss, which I have always described to my girlfriends as “Romeo and Juliet without the poison.”
During the first years of our marriage, Jim was my best friend. But over the years and as our responsibilities mounted and life became more demanding, I felt less and less “in love” with him. And there was an ongoing conflict in our relationship that we didn’t know how to resolve. So, I turned to God and began an in-depth Bible study about marriage. This study led me to 1 Peter 3:1-6 about having a gentle and quiet spirit.

Had you known me then, you would not have described me as gentle and quiet. I don’t remember the first time I read it, but I do remember some of my earliest thoughts as a young wife about it: “Why didn’t God make me like Melanie in Gone With The Wind – meek, soft spoken and proper? Why would God want me to be a certain way and then put such a different spirit within me?”
As I discussed what I was studying with other women, I discovered that many Christian women face a similar dilemma — they want to please God, yet they think of these qualities as unappealing or unattainable.

Some said that they see “gentle” and “quiet” as weak or passive qualities. Others said that they think these qualities are unattainable because of their own outgoing personality. So, what’s a modern Christian woman to do? Well, take heart because I have good news. The truth is these amazing qualities describe a strong and peaceful woman.
I’ve now been married over fifty years, and so grateful for all the ways God has worked in my marriage. I pray that A Gentle & Quiet Spirit will help you become this strong woman with inner peace. — Virginia Lefler

Read the full story in A Gentle & Quiet Spirit

Reader Comments

This book was amazing! It helped me in so many levels. Just when I thought I was learning about my marriage, which I certainly did, I started also learning about every relationship I have. My marriage has improved do much… Just because I made the decision to put the scriptures into practice, which this book encouraged me to. I would recommend this book to any woman who is looking to honor God with her marriage, as well as looking to learn how to develop strength and conviction about her emotions. – Y. Scott


I love this book. I like how the questions cut deep and there are practicals at the end of each chapter to start applying to your life. – Eréndira


Wow—this tiny book (141 pages) packs a powerful punch! The author, an elder’s wife, uses Scripture, personal examples, and worksheets to help readers see the true condition of their spirits. She also teaches the meanings behind the words of several key Bible passages as they apply to our relationships with others so that we can apply those passages properly. Although this book is very helpful in dealing with the marriage relationship, I find it to be convicting as I examine my relationships with other women, as well. More than once, the teachings it presents have stopped me from reacting to a situation and making it worse! Ms. Lefler does a great job of not being preachy or condescending; she simply comes across as a friend who cares and wants to help you have a spirit that is “of great worth to God.” –  Amazon.com Reader

An excellent read – Never read this author before but this book is especially for us strong, independent women who seek deeper, more meaningful relationships with spouse. Emphasizes the meaning of strength in humility in a simple easy to understand format. Correctly applying the outlined principles will definitely help to improve marriages. – Crys


I highly recommend this book because it has greatly helped me to gain deeper convictions on what it really means to respect and submit to my husband and it truly has helped me feel so much closer to him. I am more in touch with my fears and the reasons that I disrespect. The author not only uses so many real-life and relatable examples, but also scriptures that that are very helpful for women to hold on to and put into practice daily. I usually don’t refer back to books, but this book is outstanding, and I often refer to it and read it over and over again, to remind me of the biblical principles. – Anonymous


This book is amazing. It has helped me to learn that submitting to my husband is a strength and not a weakness. Our marriage is better than ever.  In fact, I buy a new one every year or two so that I can re-read it with fresh eyes. – Ashley


Thank you so much for writing this book. I have really enjoyed it and am learning a great deal. Many of my friends and I agree that this is a book to be read again and again as an aid in a lifetime of growth as a woman of God. Thanks. – K. Lamb

I like this book a lot because I see how important it is to play our God given role as women. Also, the author shared a lot of her own personal experience and her mistakes. It will prepare someone for their married life. – AC


What an amazing book! It was as if Virginia had been in my marriage since day one! She was able to touch on fears and desires of the average woman and was then able to calm our anxious hearts and help us move on, not only through her words, but through the scriptures. I have to confess that at times it was hard to read, because I was convicted by my attitudes and my behavior toward my husband. But I kept going back to the book, it drew me in. I am forever thankful for Ms. Lefler and her wisdom. I am sure that my husband and family are grateful as well. – P. O’donnell


Very inspiring and encouraging, and at the same time so challenging. The book pushed me to look at me with different eyes. – Laura


Life-changing book. – L. Gamez


You have given me complete direction, encouraging hope and continual refreshment by sharing your “gentle and quiet spirit.” This book is a “must read” again, again, and again! – J. Mansfield